It never occurred to me that not everyone enjoys porn? I mean really, how is that even possible? I mean this is the Sex and the city generation. Girls can screw freely and not be considered sluts, we can talk about masturbation, cock size, blow jobs and anal sex but bring up that you love porn and yep, you now have 12 less facebook friends and people are pointing at you at walmart *sighs*.
There goes my chance for mom of the year again and that PTA has told me they won’t need my help for the annual school play. I mean really. I wasn’t gonna do porn. I just like watching porn *chuckles*.
So with that said. I figured I would make a top 10 list, why porn rocks for all you holy roller, up tight frugal bitches, lol as there is no way men can even be grouped in this. Because yeah, ALL men love porn, Right? *ponders*.
Before I begin, Mom you may not want to read this one!
Okay, are you ready?
Number 1:
It’s a way to live out secret fantasies, without being ganged banged by 8 guys in the local Super 8 or sharing your partner with the ladies at book club night.
Number 2:
It’s an Equal Opportunity Employer:
Granted you are 18 and over….ok not too much over. I do not want to see saggy anything *shrieks*.
Number 3:
The Camera adds 10 lbs. Okay I meant 10 inches. I mean yeah we “women” can say we don’t like to see manhood, but yeah WE all know that we do *nods and wipes the drool from my mouth*.
Number 4:
It cum’s to you! No PUN intended, okay pun intended *smiles*
Number 5:
It’s a great prequel to your relationship, sex life, etc. Okay uptight chicks I know your saying. I don’t need that, maybe not, but watch it and see how much better your sex life is and how much better you man does you, Really I dare you to do it and than get back to me. I’ll be waiting for the OMG this chick was SO right.
Number 6:
It can keep you more focused. You know watch and play along or should I say screw along *giggles*. I mean women over think usually. I mean ever romp and be thinking about the fact you have to take the dog out, what you need for dinner groceries and oh shit I left laundry in the dryer and this new mascara is awesome. Tell me that is leading you to reach the BIG O, I am guessing no, no and NO.
Number 7:
You can learn new moves. I mean wow. Looks at screen and says, Oh My, she is hanging from the ceiling, with no net. Goes directly into bedroom and sees how I can hang from ceiling *looks around*. Bust out that porn and learn some new moves, your boyfriend’s birthday is tomorrow *smiles*. He will thank you, oh will HE thank you, or thank me and this blog. Sitting bull, ear muffs, bent spoon, big dipper, pirates bounty, twisted doggy *nods* these are all real actual positions. Know how I know, yeah because I just got done watching porn *chuckles*.
Number 8:
It get’s you in the mood, really it does. The ONLY people saying oh hell no, are the people too uptight to check it out, really I would not lead you wrong *well*.
Number 9:
It’s comical. Yes really, Ever see foreign porn or when the lips don’t match. It is a new Friday night comedy. I assure you *busts out laughing*.
Number 10:
It’s FREE.
Okay, If those aren’t enough reasons to get you to watch porn, then you totally suck and there is no fun for you. Now I am not saying to watch porn all day, every day as I don’t want your psych doctor calling me up blaming me for your new addiction. But with an open mind it can be fun.
Happy Porn-ing!
Where's My Xanax? 