Where's My Xanax?

~What a Bad Idea~

Sorry Elly and Brian...~!!

Sorry Elly and Brian…~!!

Who ever came up with the idea that raking leaves is a good idea or even needed is a complete idiot *scowls*.

I felt motivated and anxious to get in the sun yesterday, so I decided I’d rake the leaves. Well, after 3 hours, half the yard is done, I have blisters on my hands, a slight sunburn and I can barely move today *sighs*.

But that is just the beginning. Have you ever raked leaves?

Is it just me, or does everyone have the problem of raking them into piles and then for some reason a gust of wind comes by and blows them out of your huge neat pile?

I raced frantically to get them back into tidy piles, one leaf at a time even *shrieks* and I think I spent an hour just making sure every leaf was off my yard, is this normal? *chuckles*.

Half of my yard looks fabulous today, but now I’m going to avoid doing the other half. So I’ll be only hanging out in half my yard this summer *shrugs*.

Raking really is a serious commitment, once you start, Look out!

With that said, I have come up with a little list of to do’s and dont’s when going out to rake.

1. Don’t try using a leaf blower. While this sounded so great in theory it really doesn’t work. In fact it made it worse, it took leaves to parts of the yard I didn’t even start and did you know that dogs hate those things? They chased me around the yard trying to bite me. It took me 12 minutes to realize that it was the leaf blower freaking them out. I did get a good cardio work out though *smiles*.

2. DO NOT try burning your leaves, especially without a hose hooked up. I live in a fenced in yard so yeah I thought I’ll just burn these piles, No one will know, see, so who needs a fire permit. Well, first off, it too is great in theory. But as I lighted the pile it ignited very fast and with a bit of wind. I realized I was in over my head and with no hose. I wasted 2 full Diet Cokes I had outside to put out my small brush fire *screams in fear*.

3. Hire a neighbor kid to bag leaves, as I realized it takes longer to bag leaves as it does to rake them. Oh wait, I have 2 girls, what was I even doing out raking in the first place, damn kids. This is why I had you, to shovel, rake and clean the house *winks*.

'Hey, it beats the heck out of raking.'

4. A Vaccum or shop vac doesn’t work *cries*. Well maybe if you have outlets close by and 300 feet of extensions cords?

5. Don’t be alarmed when small animals come jumping out at you. As their home was that leaf pile. I blew a rabbit near to death, no pun intended, just one more reason NOT to use the leaf blower.

6. Don’t shower before raking, as you will be covered in dirt, caterpillar guts and yes last years dog shit. I really need to do a better job in picking up shit around the yard *shrugs* on yeah and sweat as raking is hard manual labor which I have realized I am not cut out for.

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7. Use a mower with a bag. I am thinking this is worth the money. Runs out to Walmart to buy one before I even think about doing the other half of my yard *counts the money in her wallet*.

It just occurred to me, I have two do’s and a whole lot of dont’s probably cause raking blows and someone else should do it for me or I’ll just avoid raking all together. I’ll just lock the gate to my back yard and just avoid or move to the desert where there are NO trees or the beach *nods*.

I really started out with the idea that it would be fun, I’d get some sun and work done.

Really, what the fuck was I thinking…???

Happy Raking!

Oh before I go, a little facts that I’m sure you want to know before heading out to rake or NOT.

http://landscaping.about.com/od/landscapecolor/f/why_rake_leaves.htm

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