Where's My Xanax?


This Week’s Monday Mantra:


Happy  Monday…~!!

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So, my ex to be’s mother is dying, now mind you she has been battling cancer for awhile. Well battling something as she is combative, untreated and refuses to die or have cancer really. She drinks, a lot. So her being hospitalized poses a problem for her never ending happy hours *shrugs*.

She is strong willed and she is going to live and die on her terms is really how I like to put this as being any other way at this point would be wrong as my blog is about forgiving and forgiveness.

Let’s start with the definition:


verb fər-ˈgiv, fr-

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

Why is it so hard to do sometimes?

As my ex and his brother seem to at this point be un empathetic towards this woman they treat like a stranger, now mind you I did not live the life they have, but I do know people make mistakes, alcoholism is an awful thing. I have seen it from a far so I guess maybe I just sound like a hypocrite to him, them. But I have experienced “the mother in law experience” but I really just think with the news today, its time to forget the past, okay maybe not forget but forgive.

*Stage 4 Brain Cancer* NOW is the time to forgive her for all she didn’t do or did do, after all it is their mom? Am I wrong to think that she had to of done something right, at some point? There had to be good times, Right? I mean come on there always has to be SOME good moments? It’s time to Be ok with things not being perfect. Be ok with the fact she is never going to be all the things you wanted and needed. But right now it is about her. About celebrating all she did do right as I know for a fact she did two things right. Chad and Jay. I mean she gave them life and they grew up to be the men they are today.

I think forgiving someone even at this point, won’t just bring a little sunshine to their mom’s now ending life but peace within themselves? Right? I mean the truth, she is going to die, she is not gonna beat this as she will not allow herself to be treated. To be anything but empathetic, loving and forgiving to me only will bring the What’s if”s, If I had only and regrets later in life?

I believe everyone believes there will be more time, there will be more chances, but sometimes there just isn’t anymore time. This moment will define the rest of your life, what you do, what you choose? It may not seem significant, but it so is.

To allow yourself to forgive is huge in life. it opens up so many possibilities as people really do make mistakes, some people will never be what you want them to be, what you hope them to be, but they are who they are and acceptance and love is the only option. If someone has wronged you, don’t hate, feel sorry for them, for they are probably fighting their own inner battles. Hell, Forgive yourself for actions and mistakes, as everyone and I do mean everyone makes them. To live with hate, anger, bitterness or emptiness is no way to live.

This always seems so easy in theory, to tell someone to forgive, but I guess for some, things, bad memories can’t be undone and in this situation I just feel bad and sad for everyone involved. I have had a few run ins with this woman, but I can tell you one thing. I and my kids will be there, to at least offer a helping hand, heart, anything she want’s and needs. For that is the right thing to do, period. I do hope my ex and his brother can find some peace and comfort in the days to follow. Not so much for her, but for them!

I pray for help, love, peace and guidance for this woman and her boys. I pray that she will find the strength in god before it’s too late. I pray that she will find love and comfort.


*Sidenote* this blog is on my opinion of this situation.

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~Hazmat Suit Please~


Okay so I just saw on my Facebook page a ” Lisa, You Can Help Stop Ebola” (donate) option. Your kidding me right? Now mind you, I am all for donating, but Hello to the doctors in white coats telling us everything is under control. I SHOULD not have to donate you should of contained this with proper handling. I did not allow a nurse to get on a plane with 132 people on it, oh and a airport full of people. This once again is the governments fault. Stop flights, be more cautious and smart, get this under control now. I really dont want to die a miserable death because a nurse was allowed to get on a plane or other…..~!!

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~Whino Wednesday~

Well, it’s whino, I mean wine Wednesday.

What is your favorite wine and why?

Providing all you wine lovers a little info on 9 problems only we can relate too!

Wine Lover Problems #winehumor www.LiquorList.com "The Marketplace for Adults with Taste!" @LiquorListcom #LiquorList

For all you die hard followers. I promise lots of humorous, snarky blogs are coming. I am just so busy with the ex finally being gone (again) finally out of MY basement. Re-decorating and taking ownership to every closet, space, nook and cranny in this place, this place being MY home.  Not to mention, I am spring cleaning 6 months late *sighs*.

I also pretend I am mom of the year to my two teenage girls. they aren’t so impressed with me today though. I guess it’s a problem when I show up with my wine glass in hand, wearing my pjs, hair in a ponytail, no tooth in and in my slippers to pick them up from school?

Sidenote: Simmer down super mom’s. I didn’t really drive with my wine glass in hand. I had my wine in a sippy cup, it throws the cops off *chuckles*.

(Photo courtesy of Pinterest)


~Teddy, Your Going To Be (_____) Today~


Did you know?

Teddy bears are made with a neutral facial expression 
So that children can project their own emotions unto them.

What is your bears expression going to be?


~Spit or Swallow~



Your Bubble Gum, Duh.

What did you think I was talking about? *smiles*.

It seems like bubble gum now a days just doesn’t make bubbles like old school gum, or is it just me?

What is/was your favorite flavor, brand?

I had a bad habit of chewing and swallowing an entire pack in a short period of time. *shrieks*.

Did you know it doesn’t really take your stomach 7 years to digest gum?

That was what, something our parents told us so we wouldn’t swallow? Didn’t work for me *shrugs*.

What happens when you swallow your gum!

Happy Chewing…..~!!


~Why The Fuck?~


Someone just told me I should get “Snap chat”. Before I go any further let me tell you what it is, for anyone who doesn’t know.

Snapchat is a photo messaging application. Users can take photos, record videos, add text and drawings, and send them to a controlled list of recipients.

Why in the hell would I want to do that? So I can take 2001 duck face seflies? Hello, I can do that on facebook or with my iphone?

Seriously, I am 44. I can’t keep up with blogging, Facebook, twitter, life, kids, pets AND apparently my housework *chuckles*.

No, No and No to Snap chat!!

Okay, goes and downloads Snap chat.


Seriously, I am NOT going to download snapchat, but I will make sure to go in my bathroom and take a few selfies into the mirror for the person who asked *smiles*.

Sidenote: I did download it once, and you can’t save pictures even, that’s dumb right, what if I take like the BEST selfie ever, my kids are like “oh you can screen shot it” What, Huh? Screen shot to save a pic. Sounds way to complicated and kind of lame to me. *uninstalled*.



~Pass Me a Snot Rag~

It’s official I have my first head cold of the year. I am miserable, of course I took some head cold medicine and it put me into full on panic attack mode or I’m having a heart attack *sighs*. I quite simply am such a baby when it comes to being sick with cold or flu *pouts* and the timing of this cold couldn’t be any worse.  I am just getting over a concussion. It is never ending *knocks on wood*.


So, I am laying here with a stuffed up head, I am cold and hot at the same time. I am surrounded by 200 snot tissues and I smell like Vick’s vapor rub. Wanna come over?  Did I mention my kids are avoiding me like I have Ebola? I’m just waiting for them to get in their snow pant’s and raincoats next to imitate a Hazmat suit *chuckles*.


On with my blog, I Googled how to get rid of a cold, bascially out of boredom as I am locked away in my room and going a little stir crazy.  We all know how to get rid of a cold right? *ponders* If you don’t grab a chair. I am about to share this info, of course with my opinions *smiles*.

Courtesy of eHow: How to get rid of a head cold.

Things You’ll Need

  • Cold Medication
  • Soup
  •  Water
  •  Vitamin C

They don’t list tissues, but that really should be number one as you will be blowing, spitting and coughing up things you don’t even want to think about. I recommend a plastic Walmart bag too, if you are wondering for what, duh to put your used snot tissues in. I would also recommend some Vick’s vabor rub.  I do not know the exact science behind Vick’s but it feels and works great and it comforts the throat and chest and really seems to relieve a cough. I also put it on my feet and put socks on. Yes, I said Vick’s and Socks on your feet.


1. Use cold medications. Cold medicines include ingredients such as acetaminophen, dextromethorphan and pseudoephedrine, which stop body aches, suppress coughs and relieve nasal congestion.

Okay, this is dangerous. As I just took a medicine with pseudoephedrine and it literally gave me a panic attack. I spent two hours trying to convince myself I was not having a heart attack. So on top of the cold symptoms I now had heart attack symptoms, this is the down side to some nasal medicine. I personally recommend a saline nasal spray, but that is personal choice.

2. Drink plenty of fluids. Your body loses fluids when you blow your nose. To replace these fluids, drink plenty of water, teas or juices. Stay away from caffeinated beverages. These drinks can dehydrate the body.

This really is a tough one for me as I can’t stand to drink water when I don’t feel good. I personally go with Theraflu which is like a tea but with meds in it or I drink tea or juice and even juice I cant drink ice cold when I am sick. Orange juice probably being the best choice as its packed full of Vitamin C. Good luck with this one! (Pours myself a full caffeinated Diet Coke) *content smile*.

3. Eat chicken soup. A post nasal drip is common with head colds. In turn, you may develop a sore throat. Chicken soup soothes the throat. What’s more, soup relives nasal congestion and thins mucus.

I’m not buying the whole medical science behind soup relieving nasal congestion. I personally think this is 100% a comfort thing. I can understand the mucus thing, but so can mucinex and then you can eat what you like *ponders*?

4. Get plenty of rest. Depending on the severity of your head cold, you may consider staying home from work or school. Severe congestion can make you feel lightheaded. Also, resting can boost the immune system and help you fight infections.

NO shit to staying home from school or work, please friggin do, as NO one want’s to get your cooties, ebola, cough, cold, flu!


Or go to work or school!

Rest is Best, I always say this, oh wait the doctor always say’s that and I do agree but have you ever tried to rest when you stink of vick’s and can’t stop coughing. It like someone telling you to stop breathing. Really, it is! Oh and the head pressure, the minute you lay down, it feel’s like your head is literally going to explode.


I personally prop my head up a bit which also helps to get things flowing, No not my period dipshit, but my nasal passages, getting that stuff out is key, really it is. unless you want to keep your mucous, that’s on you *shrugs*.



5. Take a vitamin C supplements. Vitamin C is an immune system booster, and it can help you get over a head cold sooner. Take about 200 milligrams a day. You can receive vitamin C from orange juice, fruits and supplements.

This one I can’t rip apart or make fun of in any form as I am a firm believer in Vitamin C. So take it. If you don’t have it, run to the store and get some ASAP, if your already sick, then have a friend or family member have get you some ASAP.

6. Blow your nose regularly. Blowing your nose removes mucus from the nasal passage, which relieves congestion and helps you recover more quickly.

Yeah I covered this one up there, Blow, Spit, Yakk, do what you gotta do to get the yukkies out and please don’t be one of those people who look to see if it’s green  or I may smack you along side the head with your snot tissue. It’s just gross!

Now for you crazy “I need an antibiotic people” …!!



Let your cold run it’s course, do the things listed above and you will feel better in no time. I also would like to add a few more, hot baths feel great anytime and especially when you don’t feel good. There are even tablets you can take to release during a hot shower that will make your nasal passages feel great. I tend to always hate the headache part the most, the head pressure *sighs*. So, if you can treat that, by all means treat it. Whiskey works great, jk.

I am off to die on the couch, *smirks*. Okay Okay, I’m not dying, but it feels like it. Did I mention I hate being sick? Before I go I am going to leave you with a few images I found while searching colds that made me giggle.  What can I say I’m easily amused.

666, well who do you think gave you the cold?

666, well who do you think gave you the cold?

A cold is kinda like being hell, 666, where do you think colds come from? “The Devil” *smiles*.

Loving this!

Loving these!

You can’t survive a cold without Mr. Snot Tissues *hands you one or two, or 12*.

YESSS, I am sure its a cold.

YESSS, I am sure its a cold.

Seriously I haven’t done coke since you know band camp, okay once on the rock star’s bus *nods*.



I dare YOU to try this, this is so random, but yeah I’m laughing.


Need I tell you how Ebola is Spread? *looks for hazmat suit*.


OH SHIT: I almost forgot something:


This is like an absolute must, buy the Vick’s liquid that goes in it.  This is a godsend, really it is!



~Omg Parenting 101~

I’m 14 and having a sleep over!


This is where my story gets good *chuckles* we decide we are going to drink. Yeah I know bad 14 year olds, anyway. We scrounge up about $4.00 between the 3 of us (most of it being quarters, dimes and nickels) and yes we could get drunk on $4.00 bucks back in the day *smiles*.


T.J. Swan

Shitty cheap wine, I think it’s wine? That I was forced to drink as a teenager *I use forced loosely here*.

Mad Dog 20/20

Mad Dog 20/20

Let me state before we go any further, both are absolutely disgusting and I would not recommend either, both will give you gut rot and a headache that is probably 3x worse than a migraine, but when your drinking on 4 bucks, what do you expect?

I know your wondering how did we buy alcohol, well it was easy to find a friends older brother to buy, throw in some gas money and you usually had no problem finding someone *smirks*.

Okay, so were smart teenage drinkers, one person stays sober and makes sure nothing happens to other two. So I am now throwing back Mad Dog and T.j., mixing, drinking straight from the bottle. I know I know *shakes my head*.

Oh yeah, the million dollar question. Where are my parents? Well they went to dinner of course *giggles*. Parents come home a few hours later tops and me and friend are completely drunk. 3rd friend, sober as I stated.

My parents will have none of this, “That’s it Lisa, were taking your friends home!”


What, Really? But, But, But, 3 girls in back seat, mom and pop in front. (1984) cutlass supreme, if your wondering. Now one lives a block away, the other 3. These 3 blocks were the worst in my life. Really they were, as I think it took like 20 minutes to go 3 blocks. Oh, did I mention my mom rolled up the windows and turned the heat on and by on I mean full blast. Do you know what happens in a hot car, when your drunk?


I grab a plastic clothing bag from the floor, it gets ripped out of my hands, as my sober friend is frantically trying to the clothes out of it. 2.5 seconds later I am filling it up with puke. Do you know what happens when one person pukes in the close vicinity of someone else, yes you guessed it, two people are now puking. At this point its 200 degrees in this car, really its 200 degrees *shrieks*. 2 girls are puking and the 3rd sober friend is gagging and trying to NOT puke.

How mom and pop have not started puking, completely baffles me, to this day even *shrugs*.

So, girls get dropped off, I am almost near death. Really I feel like I’m dying, I am now sweaty, smell like puke and really think I may barf again *gags over and over*

Mom and Pop pull in the driveway and I bolt to get out and in the house. I probably brush my teeth and change into pj’s, that part I don’t recall. So I’m thinking “Oh, my aching stomach and head” and crawl into bed. My mom comes in and gives me a bit of a lecture, but not much as I really probably wont even remember “the lecture”. I am like ugh, lesson learned as I feel awful and smell like puke.


You think the story/lesson is over, right? Nope, around 5:30 am. My mother gets me up! Yes, Really first official drunk and now first official hangover and my mom is getting me up this early, wtf right? She says, Lisa how did you like drinking? ” I moan a little and rub my stomach” she says well I got you up because I have something for you to do. Really, at 5:30 am? What could possibly be done at 5:30 am? I am still sick and definitely hungover. Mom says, Lisa take this and hands me a plastic bag. “Now go outside and pick up all the dog shit in the backyard”.

WHAT? Really, pick up the dog shit, mind you this is a different decade, we don’t pick up after ever dropping. There was like so much shit in the backyard. I went from pile to pile gagging, fighting, holding back the puke, as my mom looked on from the window smiling, smoking a cigarette and drinking a Diet Pepsi. She is the devil, lol.

Did I mention, I did’t drink again for a LONG LONG LONG time!

Sidenote: May not be a typical form of punishment, but it sure did work *nods*. But my mom definitely not a  typical woman *loves her*.


~Are You Ready To Die~


So I happen to end up on a girl from my towns Facebook page, she had cancer and lost her battle at 49,  this last June. I was not friends with this girl. Anyway, for some reason the thought popped into my head. Was she ready, was she scared, what was the end like, which is odd as my dad was taken too soon from cancer. But maybe it’s because she had kids closer to my kids age. Whatever it was it has triggered 101 questions in my mind.

Would I be okay with dying? I mean sometimes your body has fought a good fight and just can’t fight anymore, Right? Or will I fight dying til I take my last breath? How are the end days of death, the last moment’s even? (This is of course you know your dying)  How would I prepare my kids? Is there even such a thing, as I truly was not prepared to lose my dad, but than again I thought he was going to “BEAT” it. So, I google. “How to get ready for death” and I found a very profound article, well they all were but this one stood out, so I’m going to share?

How to get ready for death!

I think I truly avoid the thought of dying as it scares the hell out of me. But with that said. I love something wrote at the end of this article.
” Regularly remembering our mortality can help us love and treasure life.”



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