Where's My Xanax?

~Vaginal Itch Cream, Shrieks~

on November 3, 2014


So, I went back to bed this morning. I think it was the whole clock thing, But girls got off to school and I just felt like climbing back into bed, just for an hour. Well I woke up at 10:30 *shrieks*. I made myself some coffee . I know I know, coffee at 11am, but oh it tastes so good. I checked some emails, my blog, checked, replied and liked some comments and all that fun stuff.

I decide yeah probably time to get motivated for the day so I head into the bathroom. I throw my hair into pigtails, as I have a fun filled Monday planned. I am going to shine my wood floors. It’s a daunting task.

I put some skin cream on and reach for the tooth brush, this now takes me back to the shitty housewife moment, as I have clutter filled drawers, clean but no organization. So I reach for the toothpaste and put some on my brush and then go for the 5 minute teeth whitener I use on top of my toothpaste.

Reaches down:




Wait, Did I mention I am also having a conversation via speaker  on my cellphone? So yeah I am clearly not paying much attention to detail. Puts whitener on my brush and brushes…..*oh my god” shouts and then spits, spits, throws my mouth under the faucet, trying frantically to rinse whatever I have in my mouth out.


I brushed my teeth with Cortizone cream. I can still taste it 2 hours later. Now, this is where I need to ask, am I the ONLY one who apparently doesn’t pay attention to what the stuff looks like on the brush. I mean I had of watched myself squeeze on the top of the toothpaste right or was I so engulfed in my phone conversation that I bypassed this today or do I bypass it every day *shurgs*. Either way, it won’t happen again. I mean Cortizone cream, have you ever tasted Cortizone cream. I would NOT recommend it at all *chuckles*.


So this has me thinking. What are the uses for Cortizone cream as I am pretty sure brushing your teeth isn’t one of them!


This medication is used to treat a variety of skin conditions (e.g., insect bites, poison oak/ivy, eczema, dermatitis, allergies, rash, itching of the outer female genitals, anal itching). Hydrocortisone reduces the swelling, itching, and redness that can occur in these types of conditions. (Information courtesy of WEBMD)

OMG, this cream can be used for vaginal itch? I assure you that is not why I have it. It works wonders on bug bites and dries up zits well, but *shakes my head* at the thought I put vaginal itch cream in my mouth, worse yet, I brushed my teeth with it *oh the horror*.

I love the warnings on the back of the tube:

FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY, well thank god it ONLY says don’t put in your crotch and especially if you have any odor or vaginal discharge. I feel better already I ONLY put it in my mouth *sighs a sigh of relief*


12 responses to “~Vaginal Itch Cream, Shrieks~

  1. Mike G. says:

    At least It wasn’t Preparation H.

    Unfortunately I now have an image/fear of oral pleasuring involving cortisone cream. Jesus, Lisa, thanks. I am not going to get rid of that horror show for quite a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now there’s a breakfast of champions 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh and p.s. I pull blonde shit like that more than I’d like to admit 🙂


  4. adminlmg says:

    I always read packages wrong. That is, I swear I am reading the right words, I see the right words, then some time later I look at the package I bought and it magically says something else. That’s how I screwed up my hair badly and had to cut most of it off this past year. 😦 I bought the wrong strength hair bleach in the store. Oh,well! At least now I know I’m not alone!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tory Thames says:

    I swear I’m blog stalking you. Anytime I can’t find something that I really want to read, I come here. ROTFLMAO!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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