Where's My Xanax?

~Twinkle Twinkle~

on October 20, 2014

fuckedup

I spent the day cleaning and decorating. Have I mentioned I hate decorating and I hate cleaning even more. I mean groups of 3, groups of 5. Themes, colors, Height, really can’t I just stack these 25 books here and yeah I’ll leave that cute prim shelf bare. Do you know how many times. I moved stuff around, only to then shove it in a drawer and not use it all. I am not sure about the rest of you but decorating sucks. I did re finish my kitchen table and four chairs by taking it from brown to black. Now that I enjoyed. I may have more paint on me then the table, but yeah it’s finished and looks pretty kick ass if you ask me.

Kitchen re finished…~

Kithcen2

bathroom1

Knick knacks added to small bathroom

Bathroom

Long View of Bathroom!

Last week someone asked me to come decorate their house and by all means I will, give me a bottle of wine and I’ll decorate all right. Brings a stapler and some fun paper. “Staples paper to the walls”, wholla a new look. “Oh, how beautiful”. EVERYTHING looks good while drinking wine or whiskey or both. Well, If I decorate for her, she has no budget so you can then get whatever you want. Im on welfare budgeting. Which means I find stuff around the house and re decorate with it, paint it, antique it, whatever it takes to make it look good. candles everywhere. I could burn a house down or two with all the candles I have in my home.

Now that you saw a bit of my decorating, can you see why I get frustrated, no table cloth or centerpiece on table, nothing on the shelf as I cant find anything I like. I need to hit Hobby lobby, giggles.

I broke so many rules, NO groups of 3. I have a vase with flowers on my table  and its too high would not be good for sitting down and eating it would be in your way unless you sit across from each other as i have my seats in different. *basically* because Im cool….=)

Okay, so lets go with:

Top 10 reasons I will never be Martha Stewart.

marthas

1. I don’t like jail.

2. I can’t fold hospital corner sheets, sorry but people who do, have way to much time on their hands and are VERY anal *just saying*.

3. Unless I have a measuring cup I don’t know 2/3 from 1/3. Martha don’t need a measuring cup *shrugs*.

4. I can’t make a decent flower arrangement to save my life, that’s why I call FTD to do my flower work. *smiles*.

5. She’s written some great decorating and living and cooking books. ( I cant even put recipes on a blog) *shrugs*.

6. I am not personal friends with Julia Child’s. Oh, I wish I was though! Bitches should invite me over. I can make some cupcakes.

7.These women drink wine and talk cooking. I can drink the wine, but yeah I don’t cook, Ill talk fish sticks?

8.Sweet Cream and Sour Cream are the same things right? LoL

9.I like to exercise. (Martha’s idea of exericse is sitting down with 3 scones and tea, yeah thats a workout, lol)

10. I still think she may be into chicks, sorry but I just do. *sighs*.

Well hats off to her, she has made her reign on the cooking and decorating world, even after a stint in prison, she is sill rockin and rollin.

Way To Go Martha…!!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

How I wish Martha would come pack my car

Show me how to organzie

Traveling blankies for the ride

Make a craft or maybe two, for the ride to sandmangoo

Looking up at the starts so bright, I see martha stewart, shes a shining light

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, I’ll make fish sticks and drink from my home bar.

So I guess in fact you don’t have to pack my car.

But thanks for offering, your a dream, now run along and play with your pudding and cream.

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8 responses to “~Twinkle Twinkle~

  1. ikarlee says:

    I would love to have perfect and crisp hospital corners on my sheets – but I’m a very messy sleeper, and I couldn’t be arsed having to fix them every single morning
    A fitted sheet and a duvet is how I roll, the ultimate in lazy bedding!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I just want to say that I love your kitchen counter tops. My whole kitchen needs a makeover, but I’m still waiting on the money fairy. Everything is stuck in the 80s (or before) and not in the good retro way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ~Lisa~ says:

      My entire kitchen was green. I did the countertops for under 300 bucks, Menards. The tiles are squares and yeah had to repaint the table b/c I can afford one Id really like, decorating on a budget or little to no money I should say…..I Like them because they dont show wear and tear much…~

      Liked by 1 person

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