Where's My Xanax?

~The END is Near~

on October 17, 2014


Well the Ambien has kicked in and I really feel a bit loopy, but almost in tears. I am sure it is the drugs. But my marriage is finally coming to an end. My ex to be will finally be out of my house for good in two days. I am so excited. But I am also scared. I am so ready, have been for a long time. We have been separated for a very long time, but finances forced him back into the house. It’s been hard, he lives in the lower level. Me and the girls stay on the main and upper floors. But its like letting a stranger live in your home, except this stranger is mean and always comes in negative, negative from work, negative about his circumstance and surroundings, negative about his life. I mean I never meant anyone who could complain about absolutely nothing, but he could. I seriously don’t know how I made it through so happy and only partially damaged, but I can fix me. So I count the days, hours, minutes to my actual freedom. I can run naked screaming around the house. I can put laundry in downstairs without hearing a lecture. I can never have to deal with his little quirks and the toilet seat will never be left up *overjoyed*.

I am so happy. But yet my marriage will finally be over and that means I failed at something, something huge. But I can sincerely say I tried. I tried so very hard. So I’m okay with the end. I do hope we can maintain a friendship for our kids. As one swims and we used to travel to meets together. I am not sure how much that will change? Should it change? I just want it to be nice. I don’t think that two people who at one time loved each other so much, for so many years, should rip each other apart, and become hateful and bitter towards each other. I mean a bit of resentment is probably common. But can’t couples look at the fact that for years they did something so right and had something so wonderful, including kids I’d imagine. These are the things that should keep both parents on a good healthy path. Be happy. I mean your marriage failed but my/his story is yet to be written, Right? I believe every failed relationship brings you once step closer to the right one.

But as for now I just want him to be gone, poof like spell a little witch could grant. I look forward to freedom, calm, quiet, passive days with no drama. You have NO idea how excited I am. But yes I’m scared. I now have a huge house to take care of financially, I have kids to take care of emotionally and the to do list in my house is already long, as it just didn’t get done through the years of marriage. That has me overwhelmed, but one room at a time. Right?


So Long Sucka!!

I Love to be here and be able to write down my feelings, I know generally I write snark, humor, but sometimes I’m just mellow Lisa too, ambien helps *giggles*. Thank you for listening, I know none of you know me, none of you care, but thanks for just reading, listening, nodding, sharking your head, saying, oh brother, and anything else that made it out of your mouth while having to read this blog.

So, now that you all know me and were friends, right?  Whose going to find me the elusive “Mr Big” type, you know good looking, powerful, rich, charming, dominant, witty, funny, intellectual, loves to travel, worldly personality, refined and all that..*ponders*.

Mr. Big

Mr. Big

10 Reasons to help me find a Mr. Big (type)

1. Because every hot guy, needs a hot blonde on his arm.

2. I need sex, and I want it soon, and this guy is yumm yumm!

3. You hook me up, Ill hook you up, Mr.Big always has friends…(girls and guys) *smiles*.

4. We can go on luxurious vacations together *yay*.

5.Because I’m asking you too, nicely even!

6. Because this type of man can cook, and damnit you saw my fish stick moments. I cant cook. *cries*

7. His house would be fabulous and I love to decorate, we could have decorating parties, with just wine, no decorating.

8. Wouldn’t he look hot tied to a huge bed with his designer ties *drools*.

9.Well maybe the “Mr’Big” is really code for huge cock, you surely want me to be sexually satisfied, right?

10. When he trades me in for the new younger version of me, im taking 1/2. ill share, lol~



16 responses to “~The END is Near~

  1. autosoma says:

    Fingers crossed that things go smoothly for you so you can start the next chapter and I hope you get Mr. Big soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I tried living with an ex for financial reasons once. It was a nightmare.
    Here’s to wishing you a smooth transition and good things down the road.


  3. Congrats and no worries, all will work out like it needs to. Just focus on you and your babies and finding a sex buddy til you find Mr. Big 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. dodgysurfer says:

    Similarly mine is nearing the end of the legal and financial process. Difficult as things have been, and will be, I am lucky in that, although we don’t communicate unless we have to, we will always love and respect each other. While I feel much has been wasted, and the damage in some ways irreparable, and my dreams of a family faded to nothing, I am slowly learning to recall and treasure the good memories without pain. I know the final goodbye and cutting of ties will be hard, but it will be the closing of a chapter. And then I must write a new one.
    It all takes time. I can’t believe how much time, but I will get there. You will get there.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve been reading here, and laughing, and I have a feeling that you are going to do FINE in the long term! I’m glad I found your blog.


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