Where's My Xanax?

~Bye,Bye,”Pizza Pizza” Guy~

on October 17, 2014

Just when I thought pizza couldn’t get any better. Little Caesar’s came out with a pretzel pizza. Now, if you aren’t familiar it is a large specialty pizza that starts with a flavorful, buttery, soft pretzel crust made fresh daily in store. It is topped with creamy cheddar cheese sauce, a blend of 100% real cheese, and pepperoni, and then finished with an irresistible four-cheese gourmet blend of Asiago, Fontina, Parmesan, and White Cheddar cheeses and of course pretzel salt.


Takes a bite and then another.

This is where my pretzel pizza takes a horrible turn, kinda like a wrong turn into West Virginia while you hear banjos playing in the background, this pizza is AWFUL, the crust is the best part as its a soft pretzel indeed, but they way over salt it and really the 4 cheeses and melted cheddar cheese are overwhelming and not in a good way. I could barely eat one piece. You pick it up and the amount of cheese weighs it down so much you need a spatula to hold it up to eat it.

Now I have had real italian thick crust pizza, you know the stuff that looks like an apple pie but with all your favorite Italian meats and cheeses, well that cheese in the Italian is not even as much as they load unto the pretzel pizza. The bottom can not hold up and is soggy.

My optimism was high as I was ready to get my game on and drink some diet coke and an occasional cup of coffee to fuel my night. Play some video, have pizza now, have some mid gaming, cold even. Well no way with this pizza.  The longer it sits the more than the cheese hardens up, it is just awful. I think you should roll up the cheese, put it on a hook  and use it as fish bait. *pukes*.

I feel so sad *cries a little* as I really love pizza and I was in the game zone and now I just feel sad, lonely and disappointed. I think I may need to write Mr. Little Caesar’s guy a note:


Dear Little Caesar Guy,

I am breaking up with you, and your pizza.

I know our relationship has been long.

I have loved you for years, you were cheap and quick.

You serviced me many times (hot, fast and thorough) through the drive thru *smiles*.

While I got a deal and only paid 6.00 tonight. I am so disappointed.

It went from hard to soggy in 1 .3 minutes, and I just need a thick, hard crust. Going limp is not an option for me.

So, It’s over, you will not be providing service for me anymore *shurgs*.

Bye Bye “Pizza Pizza” Guy!


17 responses to “~Bye,Bye,”Pizza Pizza” Guy~

  1. When I saw this pizza I instantly thought oh shit now there’s a stoner, drunk at 2am kinda snack dream!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. vdickerson89 says:

    what a let down. I had high hopes as soon as you started describing it haha. I pizza will always be my first love. “It’s like.. you wanna pretty, you wanna be skinny, but there’s pizza” (MTV’s Girl Code

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hideorgochic says:

    Gosh – I haven’t had Little Cesar since, well it’s been a long time! Have u ever had Papa Johns?

    Liked by 1 person

    • ~Lisa~ says:

      Yes I have had Papa Johns it was ok…Pizza hut, Politios,Portesi’s are my favorites, well there was this place in cali and in vegas , but that will be no more.


  4. It’s hard to figure how they can afford to use real cheeses in that quantity on a $6.00 pizza — never mind the half a pound of salt it sounds like they used. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jblondie says:

    omg…it looks soooo good. But you’re right…limp is NEVER acceptable.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. FitsofWit says:

    I HATE Little Caesar’s. I hadn’t gone in years then they built one in my town a few months ago. I got the $5 pizza and took it home. IT WAS DISGUSTING. Flavorless, rubbery. Ugg.
    When I first saw that photo I started to drool. Pretzel crust? Fuck YES. But then I saw it was from Little Caesar’s and I knew where this was going.
    My favorite is Pizza Hut pan pizza. You made me now want to order it tonight. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

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