Where's My Xanax?

~Fish Sticks Anyone?~

on October 9, 2014

The Ambien has finally wore off and I am actually awake, awake meaning I can actually drive and not be pulled over for what could be mistaken as drinking and driving. Did I mention I took my kids to school and dropped them off. They just told me *shrieks*.

So, let’s back up. My kids are home, whining that they are starving and they are SO hungry and what am I going to make for dinner, “Dinner, it’s 3:45.  Make yourself a snack or something”.  Who eats dinner at 3:45?

Oh, I could make dinner at 3:45, but I already know what is going to happen. I cook this huge meal (Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs) now and then at 8pm I am hearing the “Mom, I’m starving whine all over again.” So yeah NO ONE is eating dinner at 3:45 around this house. 8pm is whiskey or wine hour not cook dinner (again) time. *smiles*

So, now its clearly getting close to dinner time and I’m thinking hmm what can I make. I’m still feeling anything but ambitious, I blame the ambien. I jump in the car and run to the grocery store 3 blocks away. And of course I ran into my neighbors moms cousins brother who thinks we are best friends. I try to insist I am in a hurry, well he insists he will shop with me.

You wanna shop with me?

You wanna shop with me?

Really, your gonna shop with me?  I am going to make this the quickest shopping experience of his and my life. I run to the freezer department, as he is telling me about the boil he had removed yesterday and how his moms hemorrhoids are causing her great pain, and that is why he at 45 is still  living at home, so he can HELP her. *just shakes my head* and says “Oh that’s so nice of you”. Someone please fucking shoot me now!

My anxiety is at an all time high, this guy is creeping me out and Im flustered.  I just want to get out of this store before I run into anymore freaks. I think fish sticks would be great for dinner, everyone likes fish sticks right? But, I don’t think I have had fish sticks in 20 some years, maybe more. So I grab some brand that stays crispy, because soggy fish sticks don’t sound appealing to me. I grab some smiley face fries and crinkle cut. My kids (who are 13 an 17) will appreciate the smiley face fries. I just know it. So 12.2 minutes later I have dinner, I maneuver down the aisles looking for tarter sauce, nodding and pretending to really give a shit about what the neighbors moms cousins brother is saying. I really couldn’t tell you much of his conversation. He kind of lost me at hemorroids.  I find the tarter sauce and head to the check out, Thank you GOD.

I politely say bye and I hope that everything works out with him, his situation and also hopes his mom feels better soon. He then says “Oh I love fish sticks, got room for one more”. Really? You want  to come to my house for dinner?  For fish sticks? Really? Really? No, Really?

Stands there silent………………..yeppers still standing there SILENT and clueless on what to say next.

I do what every nice neighborly girl does. I lie, “Sorry I’d love to have you over but my daughter is sick”  A little white lie never hurt anyone, right? So, I say my goodbyes and wait for what seems to be forever to check out. He continues to talk a bit while I wait.  I just kept nodding, added a cough now and then. I may be getting my daughters cold. *coughs*.  I was about to tell him it was the EBOLA and to stand back now, is that wrong?

It was JUST a little white lie?

So, It’s finally here, I get my total. It’s a whopping $15.66. I mean I could of went threw a drive thru for cheaper. But okay,  I will tell you now I am trying for mother of the year award, so fish sticks and fries it is. I walk to my car and the neighbors mothers cousins brother is waving to me.  I shut the door and start my car, he’s still waving. Is that normal? I’m beginning to think  maybe he skipped his pm meds or something. I did check my rear view mirror a few times even. (Is totally creeped out).

Pull in my driveway, drag in the groceries and start making dinner, I yell up to  the kids on” what’s for dinner”  and hear nothing. Well that is odd but a good thing. No ones bitching for once! So dump out some fries and fish sticks on a tin foiled cookie sheet and wholla 23 minutes later dinner is done.

Fish sticks and Fries

Fish sticks and Fries

Yell up to the kids one more time  and they come running down, Enter the kitchen and have a look of shock and horror on their face? I am like dinner is ready. My youngest looks at me and says “You do know we hate fish sticks, right?”  they both roll their eyes at me. Seriously they did. *cries*.


Well WTF, really and why am I the last to know. Wait I haven’t had fish sticks in 20 plus years, maybe there was a reason why? I seriously blame the Ambien, it was brain fog I swear or it was the neighbors mothers cousins brother. He had me flustered, but wait, maybe I should of let him come over for dinner as I now have a tray full of fish sticks and fries *shrugs*.

Sidenote: I ate them and really they weren’t too bad. *licks my fingers even*

Oh, Did I mention I had to make something else for dinner…? It’s now 6:30, too early for whiskey?

Tomorrow’s Menu: Cereal and Milk, Take it or Leave it!!


7 responses to “~Fish Sticks Anyone?~

  1. I dunno how you ate them fish sticks without PLENTY of Wild Turkey to wash ’em down. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dodgysurfer says:

    Hilarious. I’m guessing 8pm couldn’t come soon enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. See, this is why I hate going to the grocery store. Or really most places in my town.

    Liked by 1 person

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