Where's My Xanax?

~Mortifying Moment~

on October 5, 2014

To tell this story we have to go a bit back in time. I’m maybe like 10, biking home from the pool. Got the visual?  Okay good.

BAM, tire falls off and I go flying over my handle bars, smashing my face into the pavement.

I am clearly hurt (BAD).

I drag my bike to the side of the road and put my beach towel to my face as I am bleeding from everywhere, there’s so much blood, it looks like a scene from a hacker slacker film. I make the 7 block trek to my home, which seems like 7 miles at this point. Tears pouring from my eyes and blood pouring from my mouth and nose.

I get to my block and see my mother isn’t home, NO ONE’S home. So I walk to the neighbors. She rushes me in and has me lay on the couch. She clearly wants to check out my face. As she pulls the towel back, I can see the horror in her face. I start to sob as I’m not only in severe pain, I’m now scared to death.

What seems like forever (maybe 15 minutes later) my mom arrives along with the rest of the neighbors who are now coming by to see what is going on as the word is already out of my near fatal accident, LoL. Well, Doris (that’s the neighbors name) tells my mom something quietly as  I lay on the couch sobbing, bleeding.

My mom comes over and moves the towel away and looks just as horrified as the neighbor did 15 minutes earlier. My nose is broken (more than likely) and I’m missing a tooth, YES, I am missing MY front tooth. She calls the ER, tells them we are on our way and also calls my dad. They tell her something on the phone and her and Sue (oh yeah, another neighbor) disappear.

They are ON the road (at the scene of the accident) looking for my tooth,  I know what your thinking, really? Looking for the tooth? Kind of like looking for a  needle in a haystack. Right? Well, once again what seems like forever….I lay there….waiting………still waiting…………~

They return tooth in hand. ER tells my mother to put it in milk ASAP!

milk

http://www.cricketworld.com/if-you-lose-a-tooth-soak-it-in-milk-/15605.htm

I am now with my parents on the way to the ER. I arrive. They examine and fix what they can to my face injuries, which are a broken nose and numerous cuts and bruises and a bit of road rash on hands and other areas and then I am whisked away into emergency oral surgery as they are going to try to save my tooth.

"more NITROS please"

“more NITROS please”

So hours go by and they have indeed saved my front tooth and even have it connected back to the nerves, will it last, they are not optimistic, but it was worth a try, one they always try first.

Well yearssssssssss go by, and the tooth has survived. Well, Then I start having severe tooth pain, the nerves can no longer keep this tooth alive, it will die and it will die quickly. So it has to be removed, YES once again I am going to lose MY front tooth. I am initially worried about walking around with NO tooth as my ego is saying wow, I’m gonna look like one of those drunk, drug addicts you see on the movies with no tooth, holding a brown paper bag.

It’s removed, the following day they fit me for a fake tooth. I hide out in my home until it’s done, while it heals and the tooth is made, ordered and delivered.

Okay, tooth is on a plastic retainer type thing and yes I can finally leave my home. I’m ecstatic. So years go by and I have this tooth, if I didn’t tell you it was fake, you’d never know. Thank God.

It is NOT always the most comfortable, so I would take it out in the privacy of my own home sometimes to eat and sleep. (oh and sometimes at the bar when drinking with friends when some creepy guy would hang around. Pull a tooth out and you can get rid of anyone, apparently no one wants to talk to or date the toothless girl *giggles*)

So, one day I take it out and set in the coffee table, I have a bit of dinner and come back and OMG, the dog has ate my tooth. It’s gone. There are pieces of the retainer on the ground and dog has indeed eaten the rest.  I am horrified, what am I going to do?

tooth1

Can I go out and get some chicklet gum as a replacement, *chuckles*! Okay, it wasn’t so funny. These things are not cheap and the process always takes forever. So once again I lock myself away in my house til a new tooth is made. Wholla, new tooth AGAIN.

chicklet

So, now let’s fast forward to the future, to earlier today. I got up early as my daughter had a conference swim meet two towns over. She did awesome btw, definitely a proud mom, Okay back to my story. Stop at the mall and come back home. I am exhausted. So I lay on my bed, too just rest my eyes, just for a moment. (takes a bit of a nap).

Older daughter comes down, there is no food and she hasn’t ate all day, she’s starving because you know I starve my kids and don’t leave any other food home. LoL. So, I say fine, what do you want. She gives me a list. Well, I get up and go to Walmart.

I go to check out and I’m talking to the nicest, friendliest girl at the check out and trust me I’m talking and talking as you know, ADHD. Anyway, she kinda has this odd look on her face though, not making a lot of eye contact with me. I pay for my stuff and walk to the car and I’m kind of having a WTF moment, thinking about the check out girl.

wtf1

I look into my rear view mirror and GUESS WHAT, I went to Walmart with NO front tooth. Chatty Kathy aka me was talking up a storm, with NO FRONT TOOTH IN. I am mortified. *shrieks*

Mortified:

to humiliate, embarrass or shame, as by injury to one’s pride or self-respect.

NOW WHERE AM I GONNA SHOP ??? LMAO!

Moral to the story, well there isn’t one…~!!

Check your hair, check your makeup and yeah CHECK to make sure you got your teeth, tooth in.

DUH!!

*Puts my head down in shame*, LoL.

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15 responses to “~Mortifying Moment~

  1. ikarlee says:

    I am so sorry – while I read your story I was laughing until I had tears. Trust it wasn’t the fact that any of it happened (it’s not a funny situation) it was just the way you told it had me in stitches … I could picture the scene in Walmart so clearly as if it were playing out right before my eyes!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hideorgochic says:

    Wow! This was some story – that last bit sounds like it should be in a comedy (film or t.v show) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. autosoma says:

    Could be worse, I was at a checkout and the seat of my trousers caught on something and tore all the way from waistband, all down to my knee, showing my arse to everyone… and I was commando so all of my spotty old bum was on show.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wendy says:

    I remember the first time you took out your tooth at the bar never laughed so hard at that and the look on the guys face was priceless.

    Like

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