Where's My Xanax?

~Dead Cat Walking~

on September 29, 2014

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I bet that title has all the animal lovers in an uproar, well simmer down. I am not about to kill my daughter’s cat. As it has taken off and I’m too lazy to chase it all around the house, LoL. But tomorrow morning don’t think I’m not gonna try to leave the door open all day so it (hopefully) happens to “WANT” to go outside. Just don’t tell my daughter, Let’s go with it ran away, okay?

Seriously, this cat is possessed, it is not friendly, at all. I mean seriously it’s not. I know you think I’m exaggerating or just not a cat lover, but I mean this cat, it has some serious demon issues. The only time it is a tad bit friendly is early in the am when you decide to do a very, very, very early am trip to the bathroom, like 4 am early and you have to be seated, toilet paper in hand, ready to wipe even, that is when this cat is at it’s friendliest, oh and did I mention you have to have the water running a bit and NO that’s not for me to be able to go potty, I only do that trick when I’m at friends house or have company. as no one wants to hear someone peeing, Okay, I’m getting off track here, LoL.

Back to the demon cat, so I’m peeing, toliet paper in hand, and the cat will come up and purr, now I assure you this is the ONLY time you will here this cat purr. So, you assume it’s safe and pet the kitty’s head, because oh yes for about two moments you are like, “Oh pretty kitty”, and you rub it’s head and it’s ears and your like “Oh, this cat isn’t so bad and then BAM it has a hold of your hand, teeth deep into the skin and all you can think is WTF, why do I do this every morning.

Yeah anyway, demon cat is going outside tomorrow, door will be open, lol.

Until then, I am off to check the rest of the house for cat puke as I just almost took a header aka nose dive sliding through a pound of it, for some reason demon cat can’t just puke a little, it’s like something out of “The Exorcist”. Worse yet, I have washed my foot 3 times and I can still smell it. Now I wanna puke. *gags a little*.

FREE CAT to good home, LoL.

 

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